we all struggle, keep going.

                                     

As quickly as Autumn arrived, with its subtle breath of woodsmoke and fallen leaves, has come the inevitable motivational rut. Artists deal with these phases constantly, and I am no exception. The blues have struck me violently, leaving me feeling like an empty shell, stuffed only with cotton and feathers. My camera collects dust during daylight hours while I'm either going through the motions at volleyball practice, cheering my team on at a league game, running at the track, attending classes or finishing off homework. During the evenings, my favorite activities fight for time -- such as writing journal entries, posting on the blog or reading -- but catching as much sleep as possible is also ideal. I feel like an extinguished bulb; out of ideas, inspiration, and the willpower to make art.

Every morning starts with the blare of my alarm at 6 a.m., and each time it's a little harder to leave the comfort of my bed. School is a constant collection of monotonous drones and crowded hallways. Class lessons that seemed fresh and new at the start of September have fizzled out. Gym class makes me want to bash my head on the ugly beige walls, listening along in Tech. Ed. makes my ears bleed and even my English note margins have filled with doodles of Paris streets, Manitoban prairies and British teashops; all of the places I'd rather be.

So it makes me question, why do I keep getting up? Why do I roll out from under the blankets each morning, mustering my strength to face the day ahead? A simple answer: "We all struggle, keep going." 

As much as I wish the calendar would fast-forward to Christmas holidays, I am firmly aware that there's something to treasure in each day I get through. Maybe it's a rewarding trip to the pumpkin farm at the end of the week or simply a heartfelt compliment from a passing friend in the hallway, but there's always something.

This funk will lift, the clouds will pass and the storm will reside. My inspiration will come back. It always does.

this is how we bake in fall.

It begins when the temperature outside reads below 6 degrees Celcius. The sounds of someone rummaging for flour, sugar and baking powder come from the pantry, and if you take a peek at the oven, you find that it's been turned on to preheat. Curious noses turn up in the kitchen, asking "Whatcha making?" in pleasant tones, hoping to secure their spot as a prime taste-tester. Someone is sneaking chocolate chips, and someone else is dipping their finger into the bowl of batter (for the second time). Pans of raw cookie dough, carefully scooped into rounds, or dishes of sliced apples and raspberries, sprinkled with flour topping, slide into the oven. Eager hands wind the kitchen timer again and again, hoping that somehow the time will pass more quickly. The delicious goods pop out of the oven, significantly more golden and crisp than an hour prior.

It ends as the wind howls mournfully outside of the windows and rain taps at the door, and biscuits and crumbles are gobbled up; every morsel is savoured.

This is how we bake in fall.

                                     

thanksgiving

Why is Thanksgiving such a faded holiday to so many; shadowed by Christmas and Halloween? Thanksgiving is often regarded as nothing more than an opportunity to stuff our stomachs with food. This makes my heart sad, for the holiday of Thanksgiving is a precious little gem, tucked away between the start of autumn and the sparkling Christmas season. Thanksgiving has always been important to me, and not just because Mom plops a roast turkey on the dinner table. It's a day entirely dedicated to being thankful for what we have. It's a chance to let all of the little disappointments drop off of our shoulders and be happy with what we've got.

This year was the best Thanksgiving yet. By my mother's side in the kitchen, I chopped, peeled and diced. I ran along craggy cliffs, wrote what was on my heart and knit for as long as I wanted. I ironed, folded and washed. I'm a girl who enjoys being busy with tasks. With the exception of lying down with a good book, I don't like sitting still for long.

Dinner was a small affair for just the four of us, but we made it special. We donned pajamas for our feast and sat down with full plates. After our tummies could take no more, we settled back into the living room couch with the fire crackling before us. It was a beautiful evening to cap off a wonderful day.

we walked to an abandoned farmhouse.

This is the small story of a family walk to an abandoned farmhouse on the day before Thanksgiving. Two parents, two pups and their girl; bedecked in checkered plaid, stripes, leggings, wool socks and rainboots, like true Canadians ought to be. Light and shadow patterned the trails from between the countless branches and skeleton trunks, while the perfume of pine and dead leaves hung heavy in the air. This is a story that matters to me.

the pumpkin craze.

                                                                      Pumpkin.
                                                             
                                                                  It's everywhere.

As soon as September rolls in, this particular flavour comes out -- it appears in our lattes, pancakes, butters, pies, cakes, muffins, breads and soups. Not just at home, either. From the coffee shop around the corner to the supermarket across the street, pumpkin is popping up in everything. Personally, I'm not one to complain. The deep yet mild and earthy flavour of pumpkin is one of my favorites. I've always held a secret spot in my heart for pumpkin muffins, rich with spices and nuts. Now that October has come to stay, people are truly going pumpkin crazy. The pumpkin craze snuck into our house last week in a batch of muffins, and this week, in a bread. This quickbread is whole-wheat, dense and bursting with hints of cinnamon and nutmeg. It only takes one bowl to prepare. Once I had slid it into the oven, the house began to smell like we lived in a harvest festival. Today, I'm going to share this bread with you. I highly advise you to rush over to the grocery, grab a can of pumpkin puree (and hopefully pay for it, if that's your thing) and make this delicious loaf.

                                                              Whole Wheat Pumpkin Bread

                                                                recipe by Cookie And Kate

1/3 cup coconut or vegetable oil 

1/2 cup raw honey

2 eggs

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 3/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon, plus more to swirl on top

1/2 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/4 tsp allspice

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 cup hot water

Preheat oven to 375 F.

In a large bowl, beat oil and honey together.

Add eggs, and mix well.

Stir in pumpkin puree and vanilla, then stir in flour, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and allspice.

Add baking soda to the hot water, stir to mix, and then add to batter.

Spread batter into greased 9 x 5 inch loaf pan.

Sprinkle with cinnamon.

Bake for 55 minutes to an hour and 5 minutes. Bread is done when toothpick inserted in the top comes out clean. If the top of the bread jiggles when you take it out, it's definitely not done.

Cool for at least 1/2 hour before slicing.

                                                     Enjoy the pumpkin craze, friends!