step in swing
I'm a human being. I'm far from faultless. In addition to my obvious human-ness, I'm also a teenage girl. A vast amount of my energy is given to replaying my experiences in my head until I'm sick, or filling out to-do lists for the next six months. Even when I'm focusing on being focused at present, the back of my brain is finicky; trying to map out the rest of the day, the next month, or year.
Lately, I've been a jumble; my thoughts hopping from one question to another in such rapid succession that it's like crossing a set of stepping stones. Each stone is bigger and more puzzling than the last: my soon adventures, to high school, to college, to my career, and back again.
It's impossible to tweak my history, or know what's to come. I'll never travel in time. I can't, and won't, be prepared for everything that is to come. The future is crazy and wild and exciting, but I need to slow my pace; to see what's before my eyes -- what do they call it? To live in the present.